Will begin to work tomorrow.
When leave home, mother is looking at me worrying very much, ask me to look after one’s health, want last sentence to " remember keeping in touch with the doctor finally. " Smiling, I cannot tell her, I am really unable to have any interesting feeling to the doctor. I no longer expect four loves of penetrating of passion, but does not want to only compromise for age or for his education,etc. in this way either. So far as as I told Mr. Yang, I do not dare to think if the doctor wants to draw my hands one day, I think I will resist very much.
See doctor ask I, doll of I, pour, give to the chair a piggyback directly on message that day, I am unable to accept such call and is because of that to be a person who I disliked at all.
I begin, suspect me to be really too nitpicking, why all people think doctor and I whether happily married couple succeed day, I am still hesitating.
Fear to have a meal with others together with family very much now, my personal question will inevitablely be asked, and is asked, Papa and Mama are so poverty-stricken an expression. Heard people say I was that one was long-standing, startled that day. I have never realized this problem is so serious. I want to fall in love, do not want to look for a person together. Go to today already just, I want, put up with, collect, compromise at will again again still more. I do not know how long oneself can also insist on, only want a calm and gentle man, let me think, worth, become one little woman pure for him, let me think, worth, burst forth once again for him. I hope, have enough strength support oneself go to, see that in people.
Proved at yesterday I, to the doctor’s feeling, my words and expressions from the beginning originally, every gesture is all in his eyes. Suddenly frightened. Think, meet in the past either rival, does not know until now, clearly demarcated or had never met a true rival. Have really met, just know, it is a thing of testing people very much to be so-called well-matched in a contest. Facing toward a set of X-rays, it is transparent to be taken the picture one, have no place to hide, so terrible originally.
He smile at, ask how can spend terrible two words these to him I, I said so at yesterday, absolutely, terrible. Remembering some moments, I think I will be made crazy by the man before one’s eyes at once, and unexpectedly he concentrates one’s attention angrily unoccupiedly, one of one sentence unloads each of my suit of armour bare-knuckledly. This man before one’s eyes, I can not find out he can have pity on me at all. He gentleman but on business to come back, can come, meet I have a meal, will say voice to hear me very glad and excited careful really, very thin and thin to recall, this No., he does watertightly, has reserved enough ways of escape for oneself everywhere. High pressure pumps| Slush Pumps| Piston Pumps| timer software Reciprocating Pumps|Just understand, he can withdraw at any time, but I am open to oneself the muzzle, has had no destination ago, and then there is not a route of retreat. Everything seems to deviate from the track slowly from the beginning. I all efforts shake one’s fists like facing each other air, sincere to fail, powerless.
The doctor says he is not free, he has no time to go to talk about another little girlfriend, then takes several years to wait for her to grow up, he is not free. I know what he said is right, because I have no time to try a man too and is really suitable for me now, it is unsuitable to change again to wait for and find. Afford to understand like this, heart a little cool to get off. Tell him, the ones that are afraid are not that there is disparity now, or not enough to understand now. The ones that I’m afraid are to have no time to ask him to see I am good, everything has already been settled at all. The one that I’m afraid is, before what are understood, everything has already had no enough time. No longer having a desire to speak, he says that does not " actually say you are a bundle of negatives, just I have already been very clear what, moreover hate iron could not turn into steel to you, you understand what shout, hate iron could not turn into steel really? ! " I do not want to speak. Want to say nothing. Person this at the moment, find out I all shortcoming, mine conceited, pride, saving face at all costs of me. And he does not leave any sensibilities, this makes us desperate. I have been saying all the time, want to look for a man prouder and more conceited than me, otherwise " manage "  I does not live. But has really met, I know that torments the thing tested very much very much. It seemed that I got back to to go at being in Beijing the moment of the interview also, prepare facing one at any time nitpickingly, I, plan to find out the examiner of my loophole defect shortcoming at any time, even if how self-confident, had already failed half first on the imposing manner.
The doctor seems to be a very deep person of a piece of water. He has been already too ripe and too steady can control the situation very much, I am at a loss as to what to do. Perhaps, the one that can prevent Gold Price oil pricefrom only now is, while forcing to withdraw one day, can also leave with a happy ending, but not lose the helmet and abandon first, flee in panic. I think, since there is a route of retreat, can not see the direction either, I can only go ahead like this.
Curiosity can kill cats.
Today such as doctor and expression that I say good-bye to, let me think curiosity may kill people actually. Perhaps, this time, completely mistaken, in front of him, how can play with small trick. As he says stoically, he, while missing my intuition, I smell the smell failing. Suffer a crushing defeat. However, have already had no enough time.
Begin to work tomorrow, it is not a good thing. Only in the state of the work, I think oneself is safe, can control the situation by oneself.
I will climb up, will take off once again.